BILIOUS BILL

 

Bilious Bill was a flatulent dude,

He’d let out a belch after each piece of food,

Be it cheese or pickle or lamb on the rack,

He’d fire out a broadside,

Without holding back.

 

In public he’d shock the people around

With the cavernous echo of his windy sound,

He’d scare the small children and dogs in the park

As he sent forth his gale

With a guttural bark.

 

When he went shopping in one of the malls

He’d grab a light snack and release a great squall,

He’d rattle the windows and set off alarms.

With a crack of his palette

He’d shatter the calm.

 

In cathedrals or churches or places of quiet

His filthy eructions would cause a great riot.

In libraries his discharge provoked a grand fuss,

As he let fly a noise

Like an old blunderbuss.

 

Pretty soon Bill was welcome nowhere

So long as he failed to control his foul air.

He stayed in his house, sad and alone,

Parping out tunes

On his gassy trombone.

 

One miserable day when taking a stroll,

Bill saw a fire that was out of control.

Quick as a flash he ingested a pie,

And with mighty command,

He let a burp fly.

 

The firemen took cover as Hurricane Bill

Smothered the flames with a belch that could kill.

Now he’s a hero of worldwide renown,

A flatulent idol,

That saved half the town.