Henry

 

Henry was an

Unlucky man

Who found disaster

Like no one can.

He could sit quite still

And barely breathe,

But yet bad luck

Would him bequeath

The worst of fates

That any man

Had ever known

Since time began.

 

First of all he

Lost an eye

By simply eating

Apple pie.

A bit of crust

Went up his nose,

From whence a heated

Sneeze arose.

He sneezed so hard

His eye popped free;

The cat walked by,

The eye was tea.

 

Secondly he

Lost an ear

By simply drinking

Ginger beer.

He took a swig,

Began to cough,

He choked so hard,

His ear fell off.

He searched for it

On bended knee;

The dog walked by,

The ear was tea.

 

Then he lost

A single arm

By simply going

To the farm.

He walked inside

The old wood store,

An axe fell down;

No arm no more.

He tried to grab

The limb and flee;

A pig walked by,

The arm was tea.

 

As time went by

Henry found

That bits of him

Fell to the ground.

A leg chopped here,

A finger there,

Eventually,

He had no hair.

Animals would

Follow him,

Growing plump

On his dead skin.

No matter where

Poor Henry went,

He would have

An accident.

 

So he resolved

To stay indoors

Wrapped in

Woollen under draws.

No mishap

Could him befall

Without a move

From him at all.

So there he sat

For fifty years,

With just one eye

And a single ear.

Until one day

Old Henry died,

Of ripe old age

At ninety-five.

They buried him

Far out at sea,

Where the fishes ate

Poor H for tea.